Should We Divorce? 7 Warning Signs to Look For
The decision to end a marriage is often one of the hardest choices a couple ever has to make.
Getting a divorce can change the world as you know it for you, your spouse, and your family. The process is complex and emotionally taxing, and the end result could be a completely new reality. However, the consequences of staying in an unhealthy relationship may far out-weigh the difficulties of leaving.
So how do you know whether divorcing your spouse is the right decision? While there are no simple, one-size-fits-all answers to this question, there are certain warning signs that may indicate that a couple should consider a divorce.
Below, we’ve included seven warning signs to look for when wondering if divorce may be the right option for you.
Personal attacks. It can be a negative sign if you or your spouse frequently criticizes the other partner in a way that attacks them personally rather than addressing their behavior or actions. This can be a destructive pattern because it can make the victim feel unappreciated and bad about themselves.
Few positive interactions. Occasional, healthy conflicts are normal and even beneficial in many situations for couples. However, if you find yourself constantly fighting and resorting to personal attacks, it may be a sign of a deeper problem. Relationship experts often say that five positive interactions for every conflict is a healthy ratio. If you and your partner are engaging in personal attacks far more than you engage in positive exchanges and discussions, your marriage may be in need of serious attention if you want to avoid the need to divorce.
Absence of communication. A healthy marriage should be built on a foundation of open, honest communication. Even if you are not constantly engaged in battle, you may want to consider divorce if you’ve hit a point where you do not communicate with your partner or only engage in trivial small talk.
Conflicting core goals and values. Popular culture tells us that “opposites attract,” and couples with differing tastes in areas such as food, movies, and music are often able to build healthy relationships. However, couples who have conflicting core goals and values may find themselves struggling to find common ground. Perhaps you want to focus on raising a family even though your partner is set on traveling the world, or you are interested in building your career while your partner is more interested in socializing with friends. If your spouse prioritizes different values and is looking for a different future, you may not be able to sustain your relationship in the long run.
Infidelity. Though some couples are able to move past infidelity, extramarital affairs are often an indicator of a lost marriage. Rebuilding trust and intimacy after an affair can be an incredibly difficult task, and if both partners aren’t willing to invest the time and effort, divorce could become the most sensible option.
Malicious thoughts Couples trapped in an unhealthy relationship may be surprised to find themselves thinking malicious thoughts about their partner, even wishing them ill. Oftentimes, this is just an expression of a deeper wish that destiny would end the marriage for them. If you find yourself thinking malicious thoughts about your partner, it may be a sign that you should stop hoping that fate will fix the problem and take action yourself.
Repeated failed attempts to salvage your marriage. Before making the decision to get divorce, you should explore every avenue available to save your marriage. It’s often a good idea to seek professional guidance from a therapist or relationship counselor. However, if months of relationship counseling have brought about no improvements or signs of progress, it may be time to consider divorce.
Above all, it’s generally a good idea to invest time and energy into making the decision to pursue a divorce. If you have begun to consider divorce, you may want to consult with a compassionate Florida divorce attorney about your decision. An experienced divorce lawyer will have worked with many couples before, and be able to offer valuable insight on the divorce process and explaining important things that you need to consider. And if you do decide to divorce, your attorney can provide you with guidance to ensure the process goes as smoothly and favorably as possible.
At Florida Family Law, we understand how difficult the decision to divorce can be. Please do not hesitate to get in touch with us if you are considering a divorce. We would be happy to provide you with advice on the process, and work with you to ensure you and your family’s best interests are protected.